Helicopter parent

Parents who are overprotective and give unending attention to their kid’s school activities and schoolwork are termed as ‘Helicopter Parents’. These type of parents linger around their children to help them overcome pain and disappointment and also help them stay successful in all the academic ventures.

A higher category of Helicopter parents are the Lawnmower Parents who takes the over protectiveness to altogether a different level. The Lawnmower parents proactively prepare their children at every step of their way and mow down the obstacles that come across in the child’s path.

Find out more about the characteristics of an Helicopter Parent and do a self-check to find out if you are that parent:

1. Take over your child’s conflicts and battles

The first sign of Helicopter Parenting is to jump to an immediate conclusion the moment you see your child hurt or in tears.  You get ready to solve a simple fight between your child and his/her friend and take it to the next level by complaining to the friend’s parent.

2. Do their School Homework and Projects

You continuously and closely monitor your child’s school assignments and homework till the child feels frustrated and angry. In such cases you are simply pressurizing the child to come to terms with your way of thinking and not allowing the child to think and act freely.

3. Put your child in a box

You put your child in a closed space and prevent him or her from doing any physical activity like climbing trees or riding a bicycle etc and basically become overprotective at every level of their growth.

4. Direct your child at every step

You do not allow an alone time for your child, stay with him or her and direct his behavior and actions at every point. This prevents your child from exploring and explore and stretching his abilities.

5. When you coach your child’s teacher

A Helicopter parent always shows the inclination to advise their child’s teacher or training coach and also attempts to influence the coach to give special attention to their respective child.

6. You protect them from failure

As a Helicopter parent you do not let your child face failure and you manipulate the entire situation so that your child does not know what it is to be unsuccessful.

7. You Impose your Goals and Ambitions

You put a stop to your child’s goals and aspirations and then take the reins in your hand by imposing and influencing your child to fulfill your Goals and Ambitions.

8. You do not allow your child to move a limb

A Helicopter Parent does not allow the child to work on the minor things in life that can be well handled by them.

9. You select your Child’s friend’s circle and activities

A Helicopter parent selects their child’s friends circle and decides the type of kids their child should befriend and also directs the games or activities they should play.

10. You do not involve your children in household chores

When you do not allow your child to do the household chores like making their bed, or keeping their toys in place or stacking their books in shelf etc, then it is the perfect sign of Helicopter parenting.

11. You become the Problem Solver

A Helicopter Parent does not allow their children to solve the problems, instead takes the entire situation into their hands and manages it even before the child can take a decision for himself/herself.

12. You tackle the age related problems and choices

Each child matures mentally with age and naturally they will face many problems and issues that come with it. Their choices in life will also differ with the age.  As a parent you should train them to face the problems instead of handling it yourself. Also you should not influence their choices every time, which is another sign of Helicopter Parenting.

13. You do not let your  child out of your sight

Basically you do not allow your child to move and always keep them within your sight, then you are a Helicopter Parent.

14. You do not allow your child to adjust and adapt

As a Helicopter Parent you cleanse and clear the whole situation and surrounding so that your child does not have to adjust and adapt.

15. You do not allow your child to feel responsible or take up the responsibilities

It is a sign of a Helicopter parent when you easily allow your child to be lazy and lethargic and this encourages them to project an irresponsible attitude towards life.

16. You confuse the child always

A Helicopter parent always confuses their children as they are stuck between their choices and their parent’s choices in life.

How to avoid being a Helicopter Parent?

You can always train yourself to be an independent and a cool parent and avoid being a Helicopter parent. Follow these below tips to build an open and a balanced relation with your child:

  1. First train and equip your child to take care of certain tasks according to their age and instill faith in them that they can perform the task alone. Also you should trust your kids with the given task.
  2. Instead of reprimanding your child, encourage your child make mistakes and allow them to rectify them on their own. This will instill confidence and will take off the fear in them along with making them feel accountable and responsible.
  3. Observe how your child is dealing with his or her issues like frustration or fear. If you feel they are not handling it in the right way, then involve yourself to put them on the right track. This does not mean that you spoon feed them and direct them at every step of the way. Let them move on their own and find out ways to handle themselves in their life’s journey.
  4. Let your child face injuries and bruises and only protect them when needed or when it becomes life threatening.
  5. Listen to your child closely and with full attention when they talk about their social conflicts. Instead of jumping into a conclusion, you train them to self-console themselves and also teach them to ease the situation on their own.
  6. Train them to solve their problem on their own and also reassure them that they have your support always.
  7. Involve them in conversations which will instigate their critical thinking ability, decision making ability and their problem solving skills.
  8. Do not always show your fearless side; instead project your vulnerable side as well. This will let your child understand your struggles better and will help them learn more about perseverance. A perfect way to shape them for their success in future.
  9. Train your child to be reasonable, logical and optimistic when they face any situation in their life. Also teach them to be mentally stronger in any given circumstance.
  10. Make it a point to appreciate and celebrate their efforts and not only their successes, especially when they achieve their target after overcoming difficult and stringent situations.
  11. Do not impose your passion and ambition on them; instead learn from them about their likings, choices and passion. Also start small and slow so that they are able to handle and track their choices better.
  12. Let your child interact with his or her peers or teachers regarding their issues or projects.
  13. Allow them their playtime and just keep an eye on them only if they are indulging in life threatening activities.

Remember parenting does not mean spoiling your children to an extent where they are not able identify or recognize a situation or their surroundings. On the other hand, parenting is all about being that guiding light to show your children the right path of their life’s journey.